WHAT A superb summer I've been enjoying, and what a lot of surprises I've had on my travels - from Mallorcan fiestas and the Edinburgh Festival to a host of awesome attractions back home.

MOST PLEASANT: Discovering that people with chronic bad backs, like Yours Trewly, can enjoy idyllic pain-free snorkelling in the fish-filled coves of Mallorca, thanks to the buoyancy and warmth of the crystal-clear waters. I really regret I didn't take it up years ago.

LEAST ENJOYABLE: Having a bowl of porridge mixed with mushy raspberries, in Leith Market, from the world's first - and maybe last - Mobile Porridge Bar (good try, lads, but gloopy paste will never replace ice-cream or burgers, no matter what you put in it).

Among the other experiences that raised my eyebrows higher than anything I've seen since Sharon Stone briefly (unbriefly?) crossed her legs in Basic Instinct were:

THE £6 BILL for a small bottle of water in Read's, Mallorca's swankiest hotel (the Michelin-star meal was good, but not great);

THE HUGE SIZE of the audience for the July Jazz at Mount Stewart (I counted more than two thousand picnicers);

A PASSIONATE goodbye kiss at Aldergrove between two scruffy, middle-aged men with stubble (I know libertarians like me shouldn't be shocked, but I was).

I'll be expanding on some of these stories below ( sorry, Clive, there'll be no more on that gay kiss).

Mallorca gets even better

MALLORCA only gets better and better as a holiday destination, as far as I'm concerned.

I've been making regular trips since 1971, when I could have bought a beachfront villa - now worth over a million - for 20 grand. Boo hoo.

My excuse is that I have never been much interested in buying a holiday home there, as I am a great enthusiast for Mallorcan hospitality and thus have always preferred to stay in hotels owned and run by native Mallorcans, who can be depended upon to feed and pamper me.

That's why I spent most of July travelling around this idyllic island in a heatwave, revisiting some of my favourite places in the world and sampling some new ones (including one very expensive swanky one - plus one hidden gem for £15 a day!)

I am going to be covering my sojourn much more fully in a colourful spread in a future edition of Travel News, but while there is lots of holiday time still left in 2005 and direct flights easily available, I feel I just have to give you a few tips based on my latest exciting experiences, so as you can take advantage ASAP.

The three hotels in this story are members of the consortium of the Reis de Mallorca Group(www.reisdemallorca.com) representing independent hotels of regal character (reis means kings). However, I advise you to contact them through their own websites or your travel agent. All are recommended by the indispensable site for discerning travellers, www.TripAdvisor.com.

HOTEL BON SOL in the tiny resort of Illetes, five miles from central Palma, is one of my all-time greatest discoveries. A mere 20 Euro taxi ride from the airport will transport you to a wonderful haven in an unsurpassable location on a private cove.

With gourmet food at half-board prices, plus superb facilities (including three swimming pools and free use of a new Spa complex) and characterful accommodation, this a treat at any time of the year.

It has been built up by the Xamena family from six rooms to 192 over 50 years without losing the personal touches that make a good family hotel far better than any chain establishment. This was my third stay and I shall return, like most guests seem to do. Check out www.hotelbonsol.es for a flavour of what's in store.

HOTEL ILLA D'OR is the Queen of Port de Pollensa, popular with British and Irish (one Belfast party we observed numbered 14). It is separated from the beach just by a narrow strip of the famous mile-long bayside Pine Walk which has always been a delightful dander, though I nowadays wish there were more seats en route!

The hotel is brilliantly run by my friend Miguel Salom, who is teaching me useful phrases of Catalan, which is, of course, the official language of the island, on each of my visits. He is proud of the hotel's heritage ( it has recently celebrated 75 years as one of the pioneering holiday hotels of Mallorca) and he is highly regarded by his very friendly staff and guests alike. As with other native Mallorcan hoteliers I am pleased to know, he sends a personal Christmas card to all guests every year.

I really love this place and particularly recommend you get a sea-view room with sun terrace - magic! Visit www.hoposa.es, the local hoteliers' website, and search eIllador.

HOTEL CONVENT DE LA MISSIO is a luxury boutique establishment in the unlikely setting of an ancient monastery building up a back street in the middle of Palma's Old Town. This is an ultra-cool place in every sense - its innovative design concentrates on restful guestrooms with white themes. Our suite was a blissful igloo in which to chill out after a day shopping and sightseeing in 40 degrees, and the tiny basement pool a great place to cool off.

The Refrectori Restaurant is one of Palma's trendist places to be seen. Our dinner was top-class and the buffet breakfast a work of art. This is the perfect romantic getaway for trendies. The minimalist website, www.conventdelamissio, does not do the place justice. I also reckon the published room rates may be negotiable...

Fantastico value

MY BEST discovery of Mallorca 2005 has undoubtedly been the picturesque resort of Cala Ratjada, located on a rugged peninsula surrounded by golden beaches on the most easterly tip of Mallorca.

And my greatest find in the town has been the Hostal Cala Ratjada, a comfortable, clean guesthouse bang in the middle of all the holiday action. For five, big-value nights, we had an ensuite double room with balcony overlooking the bustling fishing/ferry harbour - all for 43 Euros B&B. That's less than £30 for two!

OK, so why have you never heard of Cala Ratjada? Largely because it first became a favourite of German and mainland Spanish families in the 70s and does not feature in many - if any - British brochures.

Yes, Mallorcan tourism is still largely territorial: We hardly heard a word of English during the week of the town's annual festival of the sea, in the same way as you are unlikely to hear a word of German along the endless prom of C'an Picafort, just a half-hour drive away.

I found a photo of Cala Ratjada in the Eyewitness Guide to Mallorca and Googled the name on the internet until a lucky break revealed the Hostal of the same name. This was just about the only accommodation in the town as recently as 25 years ago; there is a lot more now, but none better.

Give its owner, my vivacious new friend Maria Llul Rossello a call on 00 34 971 563202 and tell her I sent you. You will NOT be disappointed.

World-class attractions

THE END of the school holidays does not mean that summer fun for kids is over and I have three world-class attractions near home to recommend.

First, a trewly warm welcome to the long-anticipated Pirates Adventure Golf which has been delighting families since July at its spacious location outside the Dundonald International Ice Bowl. This is a top-quality 36-hole attraction , open 10-10 daily, which is the equal of many I have enjoyed from Florida to California and better than any I have played in Europe.

Manager Geoff Thompson told me that the good summer weather has ensured a great start to the venture which was designed by a top US company. It's the brainchild of a local couple who saw the potential for an exciting leisure activity which could be enjoyed by people of any age or ability. Our grandson Simon 'Tiger' Wilson (5) proved it by beating us fair and square over 18 holes.

A protective globe will be erected to make it playable all through winter. This deserves the Award for our Best New Attraction. Tel: 9048 0220.

I bet Myths and Monsters, the big show at the ever-appealing W5 in the Odyssey until October 2, will thrill your family as much as mine. This collection of freaky fantasy figures - from a 30ft dragon and 20ft Abominable Snow Man to a weird Extraterrestial and one-eyed Giant Cyclops - is genuinely thrilling. So much so that I reckon some younger children may be frightened, so take a preliminary peek at www.W5online.co.uk.

Having been amazed by the huge turn-out of family picnicers for the July Jazz in the Garden at the National Trust's flagship Mount Stewart, let me advise to go along early to the last two in the calendar.

Bring a rug and a hamper on August 28 to hear the Mari Jackson Jazz band, and an extra thick rug to enjoy the David Howell Quartet on September 25, both starting at 3pm - Nice!

Edinburgh highlights

DON'T TELL my culture-vulture friends, but the show I enjoyed most during my annual trip to the Edinburgh Festival in August was a highly cultural performance starring (wait for it) Professor Bumm and Willy Wee.

I surprised myself by enjoying an hilarious hour of brilliantly inventive humour, which is more than I can say for the foul-mouthed stand-up routines of other Fringe comics who think suicide bombers are an appropriate subject for crude jokes.

I also surprised myself by breaking a long-standing vow during a Sunday excursion from Edinburgh to the Museum of Flight at East Fortune, an hour's drive away.

When British Airways pulled the plug on its Belfast operations some years ago, leaving a very bad taste in the mouth of the local travel trade, I vowed never to put a foot on board a BA aircraft again.

However, I made an exception for magnificent BA Concorde Alpha Alpha which is at last on show and proving to be the biggest new draw in Scotland. I spent my alloted 10 fascinating minutes on board and regretted bitterly that I will never, ever have the chance to fly supersonic unless I get stung by a Toilet Tarantula while using an outdoor loo!

On which subject I have to say that the most intriguing feature of Concorde - to me, anyway - was the tiny inadequacy of the toilet facilities available to passengers paying thousands of pounds a flight.

The WC seat may have been big enough for Victoria Beckham's wee bum during the THREE return flights she made just to try on her wedding dress in New York, but I cannot imagine that the matronly bottom of regular Concorde traveller, HM The Queen would have been comfortable.

Maybe she always held on until her destination. Long may she rain!

By John Trew