IN MY WILDEST dreams I never thought I'd ever share the same bedroom as my youthful heart-throbs Brigitte
Bardot, Sophia Loren, Gina Lollobrigida and Jane Fonda, never mind more recent sex-godesses like Sharon
Stone and Kim Basinger.

Yet here I am, in Suite 329 of the fabulous Carlton Hotel in Cannes, lying on the vast bed that is big
enough to accommodate all six of those former occupants plus yours trewly at the same time (though
it would be a very tight squeeze. Hopefully.)
Yes, during nearly 60 years of the Cannes Film Festival, most of the great movie stars have stayed at
some stage or another at what is now known as the Carlton InterContinental. This sea-view suite has
always been one of the most sought-after.Alas, the only physical evidence of the celebrities
who have stayed in it, is in the Hotel Register. I search in vain for damage caused by a Jerry Lewis
slapstick routine or a Clint Eastwood cigar-butt; Bo Derek's blonde hairs have all been vacuumed up years
ago as have the crinkly ones from Tina Turner's atomicafro; Cary Grant was filmed climbing in through this very window in Hitchcock's "To Catch a Thief" but his footmarks have presumably been erased in one of the regular refurbishments of the façade.

Both the sitting room and the bedroom of Suite 329 are located almost in the centre of the famous frontage of what is claimed to be the most recognisable hotel inthe world. With the french windows open, both rooms command fantastic views over the Mediterranean and its golden shoreline surrounded by the purple hills of Provence.

Down below is La Croisette, one of Europe's most fashionable thorough fares, and across the road is the world-renowned Carlton Beach where many a starlet has exposed her bosom to the 4,000 Press and TV people who are accredited to the 12-day Film Festival every May.I must confess that there is not much evidence of movie mania at this time of year, in the lull before Christmas. The beaches are almost empty in spite of
the sunny autumn weather (it's been up to 21ºC),apart from local families and a few topless sun-worshippers on the Public Beach near the Casino.The promenades, restaurants, shopping streets and markets are uncrowded, but this is a city of 70,000 sothere's still a nice buzz about it.
Yes, coming to Cannes off-season has many compensations, not least the main one of being able to stay in the ultra deluxe Carlton for a FRACTION of the usual price.For example, look at this attractive "Plein Sud au Carlton" offer available until 28 February 2005(except conference dates): 175 Euros per night for a double room and continental breakfast, with a free upgrade to a sea-view room (subject to availability) AND a VIP welcome. This is about £122 per couple for this legendary five-star palace on the Cote d'Azur cheaper than many
Dublin and Belfast hotels at this time of year! Formore deals and details, check out
www.intercontinental.com or call the Carlton direct:Tel: 0033 493 06 40 06. Email: cannes@interconti.com .

Le cheapeau Weekend

MY five days in and around Cannes turned out to be one of the finest long weekends in many years. It's not nearly as expensive as you'd imagine provided you stay away from the Cannes Casino.Savings started with the low-cost direct flights Belfast - Nice which I booked in the Easyjet winter seat sale a couple of months ago (£41 each return as cheap as chips and much cheaper than Casino gaming chips!).

Top tip: The 40 minute airport taxi fare to Cannes can cost 80 Euros (over 55 quid) so buy a ticket for the Cannes bus at the kiosk outside Terminal 2 Arrivals. The No 210 express takes 50 mins to Cannes by the frenetic autoroute for 13 Euros each (just 35 Euros for group of three or four). The No. 200 stopping bus to Cannes is even better value, going by the scenic coastal route for under 10 Euros in one hour 15 mins.

We chose the RN7 coastal route (last bus 10pm) and enjoyed the Christmas displays of the quiet coastal towns en route. Two of my favourite Riviera resorts,Antibes and Juan-les-Pins, looked totally different
han we last saw them in the sizzling summer of 2003.At Cannes bus terminus, it was just a 5 Euro taxi ride
to the Carlton.Buses are a great way to travel around Cannes and beyond. The "E-LO" battery-operated mini-bus provides
a year-round shuttle service around the central shopping streets, markets, beaches and attractions. For one Euro (70p) you can get on and off all day.The 'normal' buses cost 2.60 Euros return, with the No 8 open-topper being particularly popular. No wonder it travels the entire length of palm-fringed La Croisette in an hour-long round trip from the old town harbour past the Casino, the amazing Palais des
Festivals, Alley of the Stars, plus all the palatial hotels, swanky restaurants and designer shops, to the
apartment houses and marinas of Palm Beach.

Sit on the seaward side for the return journey and enjoy elevated views of the hotel beaches packed (insummer) with bald businessmen in Ralph Lauren bermudas and their blonde mistresses in Gucci monokinis. Inwinter, pick out the beach restaurant with the best
wind-proofing and go back to it after the bus stops. If you really want to do the whole touristy thing,take Le Petit Train through the cobbled streets of the old quarter of Le Suquet right up to the ancient Museum of Le Castre with its stunning views of Cannes
and the Lerins islands off-shore. I always feel like an idiot when I go sight-seeing in trains,
horse-carriages or on the back of a camel, but the wee train is really the only way for back-sufferers like
me to climb the steep cobbled streets of Old Cannes. Cannes is not Nice
CANNES is not Nice. Let me re-phrase that: Cannes is very nice, but it does not have as many visitor
attractions as Nice, its main rival for the title Jewel of the Cote d'Azur, so don't be disappointed. Nice has dozens more museums and galleries, public parks and children's amenities than Cannes. Nice is more of a family and student-oriented cultural destination; Cannes is classier, with a particular appeal to mature affluent couples on indulgent shopping/dining breaks.

Shopping is what makes Cannes special. Never before have I seen so many world-class luxury shops than in
the elegant streets around Rue d'Antibes and La Croisette. Cartier, Rolex, Bulgari,Chanel, Dior, Louis Vuitton are all there, plus Lacroix, Hermes, Escada and scores of other exclusive brands that you hardly ever see in TK Maxx! I was always told that if you had to ask the price of
something, you couldn't afford it anyway, so I was pleasantly surprised to see that all the window displays have discreet price-tags nowadays. A diamond watch by Chopard £22,000. A little black dress by Chanel five grand. I should Coco! A pair of gloves by Dunhill £300 (I couldn't even afford their ciggies when I was a smoker.) A miniscule silk G-string by LeJaby a mere £80. Going for a thong!

Of course, Cannes has the multi-nationals, too, with every other stylish Cannoise toting something from Zara, just like Belfast's bare-midriff brigade. By the way, the only fashion item that tempted me was a £75 cashmere polo-neck from Monoprix, which is the French equivalent of Woolworths (except that I doubt if Woolies would ever stock cashmere.)
Shopaholics can now look forward to the Cannes Shopping Festival in the middle of January, with catwalk shows, tastings and other events. Check out www.cannes.fr for details of special accommodation/shopping packages.
My favourite shopping expedition was to the Marché Forville, one of the most famous daily covered markets in all Provence. Fragrant flowers, locally caught seafood (mostly rock fish, small and still squirming), huge fruits and vegetables, farmhouse cheeses, homemade patés and saucissons everything I love.I took about ten pictures of a mushroom stall which had a marvellous display of edible funghi ranging from
puffballs the size of pumpkins to very expensive little yellow umbrellas that look exactly like the ones I scrape off my lawn!
Cannes of food
Here are Trew's Top Tips for eating out in Cannes (not ating out of Cans, stupid!): Carlton Brasserie: If you're staying at the hotel, then you'll be having the lavish continental buffet breakfast there twelve types of bread, hams, cheeses,fresh fruits, prunes, lovely pastries and juices. It's
open to non-residents and its outdoor terrace is THE place to be seen in Cannes for summer lunch and
dinner! Tell the charming and efficient maitre d'hotel, Jean-François that you are a famous movie
star back home and he'll get you a table. La P'tite Maison in Rue Marceau has a pleasant atmosphere, off-beat Mediterannean cuisine and
friendly English-speaking service. The Algerian-born
head waiter knows Northern Ireland (well he has visited the Giant's Causeway) and promises a special
welcome. Tel: 04 93 39 93 13.
Restaurant Brun in Rue Felix Faure is the mecca for all shellfish lovers, Just follow the crowds who stand
in the street watching the brigade of six shuckers opening shells and packing cart-wheel size plateaux de
fruits de mer with crushed ice for the connoisseurs inside. This is a seriously good place where a
selection of fresh seafood will cost anything from £12 to £35 a head but you are likely to be thrown out if
you ask for a steak. No telephone number, as you just join the queue.

Chez Astoux, a few steps from Brun, is an altogether more relaxing place where they believe "one man's
meat is another man's poisson" as there's something to please everyone on its 30 Euros fixed price menu.
Helpful service, too one waiter demonstrated to naive Americans how to use a pin to winkle out a willick.Tel: 04 93 39 06 22
Long Beach is one of the many restaurants/beach clubs down steps from the Croisette. Try to meet Dutch-born
Edward, who describes himself as 'Cannes' oldest beach boy'. He's a friend of Sophia Loren who has an apartment in the building opposite and goes swimming here when she's in town. Tel: 04 93 38 17 47

By John Trew






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